Thursday, June 05, 2003
Trust God Trust God Trust God .....
Trust GOd with finances. Trust God with the relationship and interest in a guy bit. Trust God with the craziness of job and housing. Trust God with unreliable car. Trust God with friends and their troubles.
SO much I can't say. won't say. it's a dangerous state to be in. because i'm afraid of slipping up. aha! Trust God with saying what needs to be said and not saying what doesn't need to be said.
Wow, the songs that go through my head or parts of the songs.
it'd be so easy to follow my parent's wishes and go back to colorado and work there. but there is so much i would miss and i don't like the me that is there.
the things i'll never admit. like how it would be nice to have a husband to make the decisions and take care of things--like bills and such. it doesn't really work that way. and i don't know that i personally could sit still--i have a need to be at least a little in control. i guess that's what I'm feeling right now. that I'm losing control. i guess that's what I'm supposed to do. Lose control to God and trust him.
i thought i understood. i thought i had grasped it. maybe that's what it is. by grasping it i would have had control of it.
grrrrrr. . . oh the craziness in my mind right now.
i think the root of a lot of this is that which i can't say out loud to anyone but linz or lily. crazy boys. crazy boy. crazy me. as "things i'll never say" by avril lavigne plays in my head. and other things along the lines of "what if i said" "what would you say if" .
not going to solve problems here. but i'm feeling better after saying things out loud to lisl.
0 comments
Trust GOd with finances. Trust God with the relationship and interest in a guy bit. Trust God with the craziness of job and housing. Trust God with unreliable car. Trust God with friends and their troubles.
SO much I can't say. won't say. it's a dangerous state to be in. because i'm afraid of slipping up. aha! Trust God with saying what needs to be said and not saying what doesn't need to be said.
Wow, the songs that go through my head or parts of the songs.
it'd be so easy to follow my parent's wishes and go back to colorado and work there. but there is so much i would miss and i don't like the me that is there.
the things i'll never admit. like how it would be nice to have a husband to make the decisions and take care of things--like bills and such. it doesn't really work that way. and i don't know that i personally could sit still--i have a need to be at least a little in control. i guess that's what I'm feeling right now. that I'm losing control. i guess that's what I'm supposed to do. Lose control to God and trust him.
i thought i understood. i thought i had grasped it. maybe that's what it is. by grasping it i would have had control of it.
grrrrrr. . . oh the craziness in my mind right now.
i think the root of a lot of this is that which i can't say out loud to anyone but linz or lily. crazy boys. crazy boy. crazy me. as "things i'll never say" by avril lavigne plays in my head. and other things along the lines of "what if i said" "what would you say if" .
not going to solve problems here. but i'm feeling better after saying things out loud to lisl.
0 comments
