Wednesday, July 30, 2003
this isn't so much a place to vent anymore. it's a mixture of just personal thoughts that i can't share elsewhere and what not too. I'm sitting here realizing life is going relatively well right now and has been for the last couple of weeks. other than things with lisl. i'm realizing that i'm about to start waiting for the axe to fall. and wondering where it's going to fall. I guess i really shouldn't worry about it because things are in God's hands. He is in control, and even when it does fall, things will work out like they always have.
i'm sort of nervous about Josh meeting my family. it's a big first for me, and i really feel that ..... I guess it's because sometimes it seems my family has never really understood me. not everyone will see in him what i have been allowed to see. but overall i'm beginning to look forward to this trip and having fun with Josh. boy, this relationship stuff is complicated.
i'm very much ready to be done with working, money or no. i'm glad i've gotten to do it with linz though. we're both so grateful that we haven't gotten sick of each other. it's good to talk to her too. i was talking a bit about the whole deserving/not deserving thing and a little later, i came to a realization that i don't really deserve to have Josh in the sense of what makes the summer humorous (the other interest)--and with the things i've said and the impressions I had of him for so long ("match made in hell"). he's one very special guy and I'm lucky to have him. :-)
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i'm sort of nervous about Josh meeting my family. it's a big first for me, and i really feel that ..... I guess it's because sometimes it seems my family has never really understood me. not everyone will see in him what i have been allowed to see. but overall i'm beginning to look forward to this trip and having fun with Josh. boy, this relationship stuff is complicated.
i'm very much ready to be done with working, money or no. i'm glad i've gotten to do it with linz though. we're both so grateful that we haven't gotten sick of each other. it's good to talk to her too. i was talking a bit about the whole deserving/not deserving thing and a little later, i came to a realization that i don't really deserve to have Josh in the sense of what makes the summer humorous (the other interest)--and with the things i've said and the impressions I had of him for so long ("match made in hell"). he's one very special guy and I'm lucky to have him. :-)
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