Saturday, July 19, 2003
wow. it's been eventful since I've written. It's been good though.
so we're now official. i never thought i'd be dating someone t his summer. but I am, and I am happy although he's now gone for two weeks. It's only been a week but I think this could finally be the one that works. I want this to be the one that works. and I'm afraid of being the one who does the hurting.
all I know though is that everything seems right when I'm with him. and that he is the first one who I can picture myself with. that he's the one who I can associate with the fluffy songs (I'm already there and All My roads) and he's the face from that dream. and I miss him already.
He asked me the first time the day I got back from Houston. but I wasn't ready yet and wasn't sure yet what to think. I was also sick. So after having the doctor tell me I needed a pacemaker, driving back the four hours, running errands--chiropractor, paying bills, buying glasses and than going to Bible Study. We were hanging out on fifth floor and after a war of tickles I was laying back on his arm and all was quiet. He laughed and sighed and I asked him what about and he brings up the conundrum--wanting to ask someone to be a better friend at the risk of losing that friend, ruining a friendship. I was frozen. Than he said "I guess that's my backhanded way of asking you a question." and I go, "how much of a better friend" "I think Sam has been hinting at it." I lay still and quiet a little bit and finally said "I don't want to say no and I'm afraid to say yes" and things were left at that. 10 minutes later I started to feel really nauseous and knew i needed to get back because I was going to be sick. So as I fought back the urge to throw-up, climbed back down and was waiting at the door, I threw up and actually his feet got some of it. He now knew I was sick so we made our way back to the apartments and I went to bed and took the next day off after talking to my girly friends.
I was plauged for the next two weeks but was determined not to bring it up again and not to tell him how I felt until he asked again. He drove me nuts teasing me about the Saudi Arabian sheik and such. I kept biting back the urge to say "why don't you just keep me" So two weeks later, I had him pinned and he brought up the fact that the question was still on the table. So i told him I was willing to give it a try but apparently he missed this. So the next night, we confronted it again--I had him pinned again and he was saying "what are we going to do with You" and i was like "i don't want to leave so you can't sell me off" than he mentioned that I wasn't giving him any guidance in helping to find someone to marry me off too and I told him I thought I had made it clear. He told me the question needed a one word answer and I was like, don't you remember last night. and finally reminded him of what I said. He goes "I take it that means yes" and I say "yes it means yes". and Now I have a boyfriend. I had said it would be a match made in hell, that it wouldn't work. it would never happen. God has a sense of humor. It has happened. and I want it to work. I have no clue what's going to happen, I really just kind of go from day to day with this. I think his feelings might be a little stronger than mine, but than he's been waiting longer for this to happen too.
the other thing is, I now think I know what they mean by "you just know when it's the one" and about love being a choice. i can't find any reasons for this not to work.
Monday was a hard morning working with L. She and Mrs. J. were ranting and L started to rant more about Sam and the whole not being wanted here bit. I had to walk down the hall because I can't say anything. I really have to stay not involved with it. so after a tense bit at it, we went to break and L asked me how my weekend was. I smiled that transparent smile and I told her. Things smoothed out after that . plus we've been kept really really busy stripping, scrubbing, sealing, and waxing the floors in Thomas. Monday night I was sick with a migraine from allergies and took Benadryl only to discover the full dose had the opposite effect on me of making me hyper versus groggy. I was mad that I was sick yet again though because it ruins time with Josh. I talked to my parents though. They just want me to come back still even though there is only a month left. I really hope they work at getting that car fixed. Tuesday was normal I think. OH yeah, i tutored a guy who really has no clue with math. made some dinner, went to starbucks. Wednesday we went to the play which was lots of fun and Josh and I went to IHOP. Thursday I was sick again although I didn't really tell Josh. My stomach was playing the crazy game with me of being hungry but nauseous. We watched some Trigun and I fell asleep. I was seriously worn out on Thursday. My body hurt from standing all day and waxing/sealing all day long. than Friday rolled around and after finishing up forty hours this week :-D I chilled the afternoon away, took a shower and a nap after killing a half hour with the guys and Lisl and Linz. They were talking about Christine and other people again, making fun of really. I just kind of sat back and didn't say anything. It bothers me because I haven't had the problems they have had and I just have a different perspective I guess, way of looking at people. but it was the night for a first official date. So we went to Roadhouse, which is delicious and not too badly priced. We went to the lake and than watched Trigun and talked and tickled and such until it was 130 and I wasn't supposed to be in the apt and we also had to get up early to take Josh to the airport. It hit me that I didn't want to leave last night, I just wanted to stay with him and that I really was going to miss him these two weeks that he'll be gone. i dropped him off and drove back in a bummed mood and than woke up and was bummed that he wasn't here and I wasn't going to see him for two weeks. I'll get some reading in and hopefully some time with the girls. I'll talk to him on IM and all, but it just isn't the same.
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so we're now official. i never thought i'd be dating someone t his summer. but I am, and I am happy although he's now gone for two weeks. It's only been a week but I think this could finally be the one that works. I want this to be the one that works. and I'm afraid of being the one who does the hurting.
all I know though is that everything seems right when I'm with him. and that he is the first one who I can picture myself with. that he's the one who I can associate with the fluffy songs (I'm already there and All My roads) and he's the face from that dream. and I miss him already.
He asked me the first time the day I got back from Houston. but I wasn't ready yet and wasn't sure yet what to think. I was also sick. So after having the doctor tell me I needed a pacemaker, driving back the four hours, running errands--chiropractor, paying bills, buying glasses and than going to Bible Study. We were hanging out on fifth floor and after a war of tickles I was laying back on his arm and all was quiet. He laughed and sighed and I asked him what about and he brings up the conundrum--wanting to ask someone to be a better friend at the risk of losing that friend, ruining a friendship. I was frozen. Than he said "I guess that's my backhanded way of asking you a question." and I go, "how much of a better friend" "I think Sam has been hinting at it." I lay still and quiet a little bit and finally said "I don't want to say no and I'm afraid to say yes" and things were left at that. 10 minutes later I started to feel really nauseous and knew i needed to get back because I was going to be sick. So as I fought back the urge to throw-up, climbed back down and was waiting at the door, I threw up and actually his feet got some of it. He now knew I was sick so we made our way back to the apartments and I went to bed and took the next day off after talking to my girly friends.
I was plauged for the next two weeks but was determined not to bring it up again and not to tell him how I felt until he asked again. He drove me nuts teasing me about the Saudi Arabian sheik and such. I kept biting back the urge to say "why don't you just keep me" So two weeks later, I had him pinned and he brought up the fact that the question was still on the table. So i told him I was willing to give it a try but apparently he missed this. So the next night, we confronted it again--I had him pinned again and he was saying "what are we going to do with You" and i was like "i don't want to leave so you can't sell me off" than he mentioned that I wasn't giving him any guidance in helping to find someone to marry me off too and I told him I thought I had made it clear. He told me the question needed a one word answer and I was like, don't you remember last night. and finally reminded him of what I said. He goes "I take it that means yes" and I say "yes it means yes". and Now I have a boyfriend. I had said it would be a match made in hell, that it wouldn't work. it would never happen. God has a sense of humor. It has happened. and I want it to work. I have no clue what's going to happen, I really just kind of go from day to day with this. I think his feelings might be a little stronger than mine, but than he's been waiting longer for this to happen too.
the other thing is, I now think I know what they mean by "you just know when it's the one" and about love being a choice. i can't find any reasons for this not to work.
Monday was a hard morning working with L. She and Mrs. J. were ranting and L started to rant more about Sam and the whole not being wanted here bit. I had to walk down the hall because I can't say anything. I really have to stay not involved with it. so after a tense bit at it, we went to break and L asked me how my weekend was. I smiled that transparent smile and I told her. Things smoothed out after that . plus we've been kept really really busy stripping, scrubbing, sealing, and waxing the floors in Thomas. Monday night I was sick with a migraine from allergies and took Benadryl only to discover the full dose had the opposite effect on me of making me hyper versus groggy. I was mad that I was sick yet again though because it ruins time with Josh. I talked to my parents though. They just want me to come back still even though there is only a month left. I really hope they work at getting that car fixed. Tuesday was normal I think. OH yeah, i tutored a guy who really has no clue with math. made some dinner, went to starbucks. Wednesday we went to the play which was lots of fun and Josh and I went to IHOP. Thursday I was sick again although I didn't really tell Josh. My stomach was playing the crazy game with me of being hungry but nauseous. We watched some Trigun and I fell asleep. I was seriously worn out on Thursday. My body hurt from standing all day and waxing/sealing all day long. than Friday rolled around and after finishing up forty hours this week :-D I chilled the afternoon away, took a shower and a nap after killing a half hour with the guys and Lisl and Linz. They were talking about Christine and other people again, making fun of really. I just kind of sat back and didn't say anything. It bothers me because I haven't had the problems they have had and I just have a different perspective I guess, way of looking at people. but it was the night for a first official date. So we went to Roadhouse, which is delicious and not too badly priced. We went to the lake and than watched Trigun and talked and tickled and such until it was 130 and I wasn't supposed to be in the apt and we also had to get up early to take Josh to the airport. It hit me that I didn't want to leave last night, I just wanted to stay with him and that I really was going to miss him these two weeks that he'll be gone. i dropped him off and drove back in a bummed mood and than woke up and was bummed that he wasn't here and I wasn't going to see him for two weeks. I'll get some reading in and hopefully some time with the girls. I'll talk to him on IM and all, but it just isn't the same.
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