Tuesday, February 15, 2005
Well, three out of the last four years valentine's day weekends have proven to be rather special.
Last year was great. It snowed. I had a good weekend. No crises that I can remember.
Freshman year: Ah. I still don't want to remember all the trials of that one semester put together....Valentine's day time period---Linkin Park concert, Lily/Rob/Dave, John/Christina, ... I really don't need to say much more
Sophomore year. As Josh reminded me, that was the weekend of the great satire blow-up. in which many apologies were made and prides were humbled, including my own. never a great feeling. But I do remember a really special Valentine's Day rose from a certain group of Guys. *fights tears*
This year. Well. I can't say a whole lot here. There have been good moments, but things have been stressful, emotionally high and emotionally down, muddled one moment, clear the next only to become more muddled than before. It hasn't ended yet.
I'm not sure what to think. I'm not sure whether or not I am being fair. I have no choice but to allow that passing judgements A. isn't my duty and B. should not have been done without a "fair trial", i.e. hear the other side of the story. At least, I'm admitting this at the moment.
I need assurance of the end of this. I need assurance of an ending where a friendship isn't lost and things are seriously confused. I know God is working and I will see a brighter side to life again, but I'm afraid. The friendship in question will never be the same again. It's rather impossible. Granted, every friendship changes day to day. But anyways, I don't know what is going to happen. It kind of reminds me of my freshman spring...but this is all so VERY different.
Benefit of the Doubt. I'm just not sure on this one for what is right or if there is a correct answer. Should I have given him more benefit of the doubt? I really don't know. I think I can still present a strong case to my actions taken as they stand. Maybe it's really a question of whether I need to give him more a b.o.t.d. now than when this all started.
I've been completely taken by surprised, shocked, horrified, hurt, angry, bitter, disappointed, and very very sad all this weekend. On top of the trials of student teaching. and the joys of Valentine's Day. I haven't broken down and cried yet, I probably need to. I try to pray and can't do more than ask for help and say I'm confused.
That's sort of where I'm at right now. I'm exhausted so I shall sleep.
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Last year was great. It snowed. I had a good weekend. No crises that I can remember.
Freshman year: Ah. I still don't want to remember all the trials of that one semester put together....Valentine's day time period---Linkin Park concert, Lily/Rob/Dave, John/Christina, ... I really don't need to say much more
Sophomore year. As Josh reminded me, that was the weekend of the great satire blow-up. in which many apologies were made and prides were humbled, including my own. never a great feeling. But I do remember a really special Valentine's Day rose from a certain group of Guys. *fights tears*
This year. Well. I can't say a whole lot here. There have been good moments, but things have been stressful, emotionally high and emotionally down, muddled one moment, clear the next only to become more muddled than before. It hasn't ended yet.
I'm not sure what to think. I'm not sure whether or not I am being fair. I have no choice but to allow that passing judgements A. isn't my duty and B. should not have been done without a "fair trial", i.e. hear the other side of the story. At least, I'm admitting this at the moment.
I need assurance of the end of this. I need assurance of an ending where a friendship isn't lost and things are seriously confused. I know God is working and I will see a brighter side to life again, but I'm afraid. The friendship in question will never be the same again. It's rather impossible. Granted, every friendship changes day to day. But anyways, I don't know what is going to happen. It kind of reminds me of my freshman spring...but this is all so VERY different.
Benefit of the Doubt. I'm just not sure on this one for what is right or if there is a correct answer. Should I have given him more benefit of the doubt? I really don't know. I think I can still present a strong case to my actions taken as they stand. Maybe it's really a question of whether I need to give him more a b.o.t.d. now than when this all started.
I've been completely taken by surprised, shocked, horrified, hurt, angry, bitter, disappointed, and very very sad all this weekend. On top of the trials of student teaching. and the joys of Valentine's Day. I haven't broken down and cried yet, I probably need to. I try to pray and can't do more than ask for help and say I'm confused.
That's sort of where I'm at right now. I'm exhausted so I shall sleep.
0 comments
