Friday, May 20, 2005
I'm looking for emotional release. I need to cry. I feel so selfish, so hurt. and yet they still have not called. I don't feel justified in being angry. Yet I feel the need to forgive. I need an explanation and I need closure. I wonder if they realize how much worse and harder they are making this. What have I done that I could not be trusted? What were they afraid of? What have I done to make them fear whatever? Where do I need to change?
God is stretching on me. May this make me draw closer to him.
It's been quite some time since I've felt pain like this. Well, maybe not. It's been another semester of hurt from friends. Hurt at being left out, hurt at discovering things about someone I never would have guessed.
I think back and wonder how I could have missed it. Was I so busy with myself and not looking out for what was going on in the lives of others?
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God is stretching on me. May this make me draw closer to him.
It's been quite some time since I've felt pain like this. Well, maybe not. It's been another semester of hurt from friends. Hurt at being left out, hurt at discovering things about someone I never would have guessed.
I think back and wonder how I could have missed it. Was I so busy with myself and not looking out for what was going on in the lives of others?
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